


The Substitute Santa

by Shion (Nightmare_Taichou)



Series: 25 Days of Toruka Christmas [19]
Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Gen, Humor, Toruka - Freeform, a little action, noragami elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 06:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17095754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightmare_Taichou/pseuds/Shion
Summary: Day 19: "Santa"Jolly Ol' St. Nick was sick so this Christmas, it's up to the gods to cover for the man in red. In Takamagahara, the god of music, Takahiro, was chosen for this task and he was not too excited about it.





	The Substitute Santa

**Author's Note:**

> _Regalia:_ called _Shinki_ in the original, the name means "sacred treasures". They are items that gods use for various tasks and purposes. They made from a loose spirit of a dead human. 
> 
> _Hafuri:_ meaning "Blessed Vessel", these are evolved Shinki from their original form into a better one. Achieving this isn't easy as it involves risking their lives to save/ protect their master's.
> 
>  _Loose spirit:_ are wandering souls of people who died being murdered or killed in accidents.
> 
>  _Ayakashi:_ meaning "Phantom", these are creatures that vary in shape, size, and colour and feed off the darkness in a human and corrupting the "good" in their hearts. They are expelled and killed by the gods and cannot be seen by humans under normal circumstances. 
> 
> _Blight:_ is also known as impurities, and is used to describe wounds caused by an Ayakashi to corrupt gods, Regalia and souls. In this case, a god can get blighted when his Regalia commits a sin. 
> 
> _Takamagahara:_ meaning "The Plain of High Heavens" and is where the Japanese gods dwell.

…

…

 

Takamagahara was in disarray.

Jolly Ol’ St. Nick wasn’t coming this year to Japan. Or rather, he wasn’t visiting _anywhere_ for that matter. The jolly man in red has some health issues or someshit, so he’s unable to deliver his Christmas presents to the good little boys and girls around the globe. Which is why, it’s up to the various gods of the different nations to substitute for the old Claus.

And that is the reason for Takahiro’s rather sour mood.

One of Takamagahara’s seven lucky gods ―Hotei―the god of fortune, guardian of the children, patron of diviners and barmen and also the god of popularity had asked ― _more like ordered―_ Takahiro to be Japan’s Santa this year. Of course, the petite god was not amused. He didn’t have the time to be running around Japan and going down chimneys with a giant sack of toys for anyone. He was a god of music for crying out loud!

He slumped over his balcony, looking down at his meadow. Currently, he was at his palace, resting on a soft comfy cloud which hovered above the lush green meadow that he owned. Every god in Takamagahara had their own land, it’s just that the size of the land is directly proportional to the amount of followers that one has. In essence, the more believers, the bigger the land.

In this case, Takahiro was, in comparison to gods like Amaterasu, Bishamonten and Tsukuyomi, a minor god but by no means was he “minor in the literal sense of the word. The Japanese music industry was flourishing and almost every day, people are stopping by his shrines and praying.

But at the moment, he feels like he needs some prayer himself. He never understood why the mortals of Japan could celebrate a holiday that belonged to the Western World. And now that flipping Claus has more followers than he does! Frankly, the man has believers in every single corner of the globe!

“Fuck…” he hissed. He pondered on how he will actually pull this off. Going around to every house in Japan shouldn’t be too hard, and since he’s a god, no one will be able to see him. It should be easy, right? But the issue that he’s having is this stinking _ayakashi._ These are disgusting creatures that feed off the darkness or rather, negativity in a human being and even going as far as corrupting the human to the point where they need to be killed.

“Right, what could possibly go wrong?” He sighed with sarcasm.

“You know that you’ve just jinxed yourself, don’t you Taka-chan?” came a high pitched chirp from behind.

“I’m a god. I don’t get jinxed nor do I jinx.” Takahiro said, turning around to meet the bright eyes of one of his Regalia who he calls Ryouta. He was a young man who looked to be in his late teen or very early twenties with brown hair that had blond tips.

“So…planning something?” Ryouta asked, leaning on the balcony beside Takahiro. “I mean, that’s the only reason why “nothing could go wrong”, am I right?”

“Wrong!” The god shot down quickly. “That bastard Hotei wants me to deliver presents to Japan this Christmas because the old fart is sick.”

“Who? Santa?”

“Who else Ryouta?”

“But isn’t that cool? You’ll get to be “Jolly Ol’ St. Nick” for a couple hours!”

“It’s not. I’m a god of music, not a god of gift delivery.”

The Regalia grinned. “You could add that in.”

“I can kill you, you know that right?”

“Eh? But I’m your Regalia! If you kill me, what are you going to use to fight the ayakashi in the human world?!”

“I have Toru, have you forgotten?”

“But Toru alone cannot suffice! I know that there are ayakashi out there that you can’t get up close to fight so you’ll need a ranged weapon! Toru isn’t!” Ryouta’s nearly shrieked as his lips started to tremble and eyes begin to water.

Seeing this, Takahiro quickly soothed, “I was just teasing you Ryouta. You know that both you and Toru are my _most valuable_ Regalia.”

Ryouta stopped and looked at him with a “what the fuck” face. “We’re your _only_ Regalia, Taka-chan.” He deadpanned.

“Die, you insolent cur!” He screeched.

“What’s going on out here?” a deep voice sounded from behind. The two turned around to see the other Regalia ―Toru―a tall young man with blond hair done in a sweep to the left, his face wearing his trademark bored expression. He seemed to be around the same age as Ryouta. However, unlike the latter, Toru was a Hafuri―a special type of Regalia.

“Nothing.” Takahiro said quickly. He noticed the gigantic cloth bag and let out a groan. “What’s that?” he asked to make sure.

“Oh right.” The Hafuri said. “This came from Hotei-san, saying ―”

“Say no more.” Takahiro cut off. “Since it’s from him, I know what to do with it.”

Toru raised an eyebrow and looked to Ryouta for an explanation. Takahiro had already dragged the bag close to the door, opened it to look through its contents ―well, the ones on top that is.

“Taka-chan has to be Santa for Japan because the real one’s sick.”Ryouta chuckled. “And he’s not too happy about it.”

“Oh that’s why he’s been such a grouch lately.” Toru said in realization.

“Yup!”

“But let me guess, we’re his reindeers?”

“He didn’t say but I think ―”

“Great idea Toru!” the god perked with a pat on his Hafuri’s shoulder. “I never thought of that!” He then sauntered back to the bag and opened the door. “So let’s get ready boys, we’re going to show that fat old Claus that Christmas is still on for Japan even though I’m not supposed to be doing this shit.”

“Isn’t that kinda rude? To call Santa, fat and old?” Toru asked with a raised eyebrow. “And what’s wrong with delivering toys and stuff to children all over Japan?”

Takahiro rolled his eyes at the Hafuri. “Seriously? I’m no Santa, I’m a god of music.”

“But remember, if it weren’t for these mortals, you wouldn’t be here. It’s the least you could do for them.”

“I answer their prayers! What more do you want from me?!”

“I’m just saying, this is something you can do for them that’s not out of obligation.”

Takahiro glared at Toru, the Hafuri’s impassive expression further setting him off. “I’m going to stab you to death.”

“With what? I’m the sharp one here, not Ryouta.”

Ryouta doubled his lips to not burst out with laughter. Ever since they became Takahiro’s Regalia, this was a common occurrence. Toru had witty clapbacks for everything Takahiro threw at him, which sometimes frustrates the god to no end.

“Whatever, just get your asses ready. We’ll be sorting this shit out.”

“Yes Sir!”

 

…

…

 

“Are you ready?” Takahiro asked as he tucked his red pants into knee-high black boots.

“Yeah.” The two Regalia replied.

“All I’m wearing is a reindeer hoodie.” Toru deadpanned. “Which I find rather disgusting.”

“Aww, come on, I think it’s cute!” Ryouta grinned.

Takahiro grinned. “That’s right Ryouta. Toru is just being a spoil sport. What’s wrong with delivering toys and stuff to children all over Japan?”

Toru narrowed his eyes at his god but said nothing. Takahiro smirked at him; feeling satisfied that he got back at him for what he had said earlier.

“Alright! Let’s do this!” The music god chirped upon seeing that all is well. _Maybe I should’ve gotten a sleigh._

Pushing that thought aside seeing that it’s a bit too late for that, Takahiro opened his front door, revealing a bright white light which soon enveloped the three.

 

…

…

 

They had just exited from one of Takahiro’s shrines in the prefecture, and thus began their quest. It was late evening on Christmas Eve in the mortal world, the sun was already setting. So, with the clock ticking away, Takahiro decided to deliver presents region by region starting with Kyushu.

The trio sped through Okinawa and the rest of Kyushu with god speed. They wasted absolutely no time, Takahiro, now decked out in Santa’s traditional clothing, became a master of sliding down chimneys, leaving the presents under the tree and snatching the milk and cookies while he was at it. Ryouta and Toru got their fair share as well, even though they were Takahiro’s “reindeers”.

So, before they knew it, they had finished delivering to the entire Kyushu region and moved onto the Shikoku region. Like, the prefecture before, it was mostly smooth sailing. Even though there were the presences of a few ayakashi which took nothing much in slaying, Shikoku was a walk in the park. However, when they entered into the Chugoku region, they decided to split up, in order to cover more ground.

This method was effective, as even if either of his Regalia ran into trouble, Takahiro could teleport to their sides in an instant.

 

…

…

 

“We’re making progress aren’t we, Taka-chan?” Ryouta hummed, swinging his feet off the roof. This was the last house for this region, so Takahiro decided that they take a short break.

“Yeah,” The music god replied. “But I really wonder how the hell does Santa do this shit _every year_ across the entire globe?” he sighed. “I’m tired already and we’ve just finished delivering to the Chugoku region. There’s another five regions to go.”

“I’m pretty sure you can do it, Taka.” Toru joined in, ruffling his god’s curly locks. Since he was taller than Takahiro, he’s _always_ ruffling his god’s hair. Ryouta shook his head at their actions. The two were close; he knew that, _far_ closer than he, himself is with the god.

There was a time in the past where he had almost blighted Takahiro to death (literally) because of jealousy. Luckily, his god understood and all he got off with was a purification ritual and a shit ton of housework as punishment.

“Alright boys, to the Kansai region we go!”

But little did they know what trouble awaited them.

 

…

…

 

 

…

…

 

Upon entering the Hyogo prefecture, Takahiro and his Regalia could tell that there was something amiss. There was a disturbance in the air, which indicated that Ayakashi were near.

With narrowed eyes, Takahiro proceeded with caution, this time; neither of them had split up. With this looming danger, being separated was the last thing they’d want to do.

But suddenly, as Takahiro was about to descend into the tenth house of that avenue, they saw a rather large ayakashi with the shape of snake chasing a loose spirit. These were in the form of small balls not like how human ghosts are typically portrayed. 

“Hmm, that’s a male, seeming to be in his early twenties…” Takahiro mumbled to himself.

“Huh? What’s it Taka-chan? Gonna slay that ayakashi?” Ryouta asked.

The music god smirked. “I’m going to get another Shinki.”

“EEEHHHH?!”

But before either of them could question their master, the petite god took action. He ran over to the snake ayakashi and with a kick, he sent it flying over a couple rooftops, twisting and turning in agony. But, that kick was by no means able to vanquish the creature.

So, with it being in such a confused state at the sudden attack, Takahiro reached for his weapons.

“Come, Rakki!” He stretched out a hand in Ryouta’s direction and instantly, a white light enveloped the chirpy Shinki after which he transformed into a red mic with an extremely long cord. The instrument flew into the god’s hands and upon grabbing the cord, Takahiro used it like a lasso, to reel in the ayakashi.

As he pulled it closer, he placed the mic at his mouth and began singing. From the microphone came sound waves which his beautiful voice produced, sending the creature crashing into a nearby wall, completely stunting it.

“Revert, Ryouta!” Takahiro said once again for the Shinki to return to his human self. And without hitch, the god reached for Toru, nearly screaming, “Come, Kouki!” This time, it was Toru who changed his form, into an electric guitar; however, the body was shaped like an axe.

So, with a malicious grin, Takahiro dashed towards the ayakashi, gripping his weapon in the fretboard and hacked away relentlessly until the creature was no more. He then turned his attention to the “loose spirit” after making Toru revert to his human form.

Pointing his index and middle finger at the “loose spirit”, a white light glowed from the tips, Takahiro said as he began writing in mid-air, “Thou with nowhere to go and nowhere to return, I shall grant you a place to belong. My name is Takahiro.” He said with serious eyes locking onto the spirit.

“So this is how ours went too huh?” Ryouta said, not taking his eyes off Takahiro and the loose spirit.

“Yeah, it seems.” Toru replied, likewise Ryouta.

“Bearing a posthumous name, you shall remain here. With this name, I shall make thee my servant. With this name and its alternate, I use my life to make thee a Divine Instrument.” Takahiro continued. “Thou art _Tomo,_ as Regalia _Chi,_ so come, _Chiki!”_ The kanji in which Takahiro had been writing appeared on the spirit as it was gleaming white light. But as soon as Takahiro called its name _“Chiki”,_ it turned into a pair of drumsticks and flew to the god’s side.

“Drumsticks, huh?” Takahiro said as he inspected his new Shinki. “Revert, Tomoya.”

Once again, the bright light enveloped the drumsticks but suddenly, a person appeared with shoulder length curly black hair and green tips.

“It’s a boy!” Ryouta and Toru ended up screaming out. It was reminiscent of how humans behaved whenever they learned the gender of their child.

Takahiro chuckled at his two dorks. “Yeah, his name his Tomoya.”

Tomoya, looked at himself in confusion, shock and surprise. He was clothed only in a white shinishozoku.

“What…?” he said, unable to formulate the proper words to make a sentence. He was just too overwhelmed at the moment.

“My name is Takahiro, god of music. Your name as a person is Tomoya but as my weapon, Chiki. And you are now my servant. You serve as my Regalia.”

“Regalia?”

“Yes, a Divine Instrument used by gods to slay ayakashi.” He replied. “But now is not the time.” He turned to Ryouta, “Take him home, Toru and I can handle things from here on out.”

“But I wanted to see the lights of Tokyo!” He whined.

“Tomorrow, I promise.”

“Fine.” The Regalia huffed. He looked to Tomoya who was still a bit lost and held his hand, “Come, we’re going home.”

It wasn’t until the two disappeared from sight that Takahiro realized what the cause was for Tomoya’s confused look. He claimed to be a god, yet he was dressed in this ridiculous outfit, not to mention Toru and Ryouta who were reindeer hooded costumes.

“Oh, well.” He shrugged his shoulders and said.

“What?” Toru asked.

“Nothing, let’s finish our quest, shall we?”

“Yes Sir.” Toru hummed with a smile, ruffling his god’s hair yet again. But instead of swatting away his hand, Takahiro just allowed him to do it.

 

…

…

 

Now that Ryouta was gone and some time was taken up due to the ayakashi and Takahiro naming Tomoya, the two went around the rest of the Kansai region delivering presents. There were seven prefectures in total here, and they were just at Hyogo, the first prefecture when coming from the Chugoku region.

Which meant, time was of the essence.

And since this was the case, Takahiro made sure to avoid ayakashi. But since he was a god and Toru was his Hafuri, the ayakashi around the area was attracted to them like moths to a fucking flame.

Soon, this whole “gift delivery as Santa’s substitute” was turning into something else, given that Takahiro had to be fending off the twisted balls of emotions as well.

This continued even when they headed into the Chūbu region and worse, the Kanto region where Tokyo was located. But, with Toru by his side, Takahiro found that there wasn’t a single thing he felt like he couldn’t do.

 

…

…

 

It was close to midnight when Takahiro and Toru had delivered the last of the presents in Hokkaido, the god and his Hafuri feeling relieved that this hell was over. They’ve been running around non-stop, and saying that they were exhausted, would be an understatement.

So, to rest up a little bit before they head back to Takamagahara, the two stayed in the human world, taking in the various sights of the Christmas season ―well, the ones they could see from the roof.

Toru had placed his head in Takahiro’s lap, while the god stroked his hair gently. He’s been doing this to the Hafuri for years now, as whenever there was something bothering him, this was the way in Takahiro got him to talk. Plus, they were close, _really close,_ to the point that it had made Ryouta jealous.

“Taka,” Toru started in that deep baritone voice of his. The god had given both his Regalia permission to call him such, even though it was because the two were utterly stubborn and refused to call him Takahiro.

“Hmm?” the god answered.

“If you ever hear that Santa is sick, please fake an illness too…I don’t think I can do this ever again.” He groaned out. “I take back what I said; delivering presents for Japan is not fun.”

Takahiro smiled. “See, a god is always right.”

“Right…”

 

…

…

 

Finally returning to his palace in Takamagahara, Takahiro immediately went into his onsen to soak away all the stress, and exhaustion from his adventures. Ryouta was busy chatting with Tomoya to pay him any attention, which he was glad for, that the two were hitting it off pretty well.

“Do you want me to wash your back?”

“EEKKK!”  A (not so) manly shriek escaped from the god’s lips when he turned around and saw Toru in nothing but a towel draped around his waist.

“What’s with the scream?”

“I…It’s…” Takahiro grumbled. “Just wash my damn back!”

“As you wish, Takahiro-no-Mikoto.” Toru grinned, slipping in behind the god into the steaming hot water.   

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading~!


End file.
